27th November – 3rd December – Days 230 to 236
Okay, so the Muppet and Convict cricket pictures below are mean – but at least I’ve attacked both the Pom’s and the Aussie’s and in the words of the Barmy Army,
1) Beatles - Yellow Submarine, 'you all live in a convict colony, a convict colony, a convict colony….’
2) Football sort of chant, ‘were going to win 4 - 1.....’
Anyway the week has been busy with Christmas shopping (arrggg), tennis playing, (your crap and you know you are), and reduced alcohol consumption – I chose life and went on the wagon for the grand total of 4 days, didn’t feel any different after the experiment so have started drinking again.
Its dead hot at the moment and being Scottish have been working hard to acclimatise myself – the weather is wicked out here and to be snow, ice, frost and rain free is lovely. I also discovered why it is taking so long to get used to the weather;
Scotsman and the Cold
40 degrees:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Scotland sunbathe.
35 degrees:
Italian cars won't start.
People in Scotland drive with the windows down.
20 degrees:
Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
15 degrees:
Californians begin to evacuate the state.
People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.
0 degrees:
New York landlords turn the heat on.
People in Scotland have a last barby before it gets cold.
-10 degrees:
People in Miami are extinct.
People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
-20 degrees:
Californians all now live in Mexico.
People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
-80 degrees:
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.
Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets colder.
-100 degrees:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Scotland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps.
-173 degrees:
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
People in Scotland are angry 'cos they can't thaw their whisky kegs.
-297 degrees:
Microbial life starts to grind to a halt.
Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460 degrees:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Scotland start saying "A bit hill billy ... eh? "
-500 degrees:
Hell freezes over.
Scottish people support England in the World Cup…not!
I am also really enjoying the Ashes banter – very good fun and harmless, a bit like Rugby Union supporters really. Although I was insulted recently when an English gentlemen sent me the picture below, stating that it was a Scottish Advent Christmas.
Anyway quiet week update – its not that I don’t love you all, it’s just because I am off……its beer o’clock now.
1) Beatles - Yellow Submarine, 'you all live in a convict colony, a convict colony, a convict colony….’
2) Football sort of chant, ‘were going to win 4 - 1.....’
Anyway the week has been busy with Christmas shopping (arrggg), tennis playing, (your crap and you know you are), and reduced alcohol consumption – I chose life and went on the wagon for the grand total of 4 days, didn’t feel any different after the experiment so have started drinking again.
Its dead hot at the moment and being Scottish have been working hard to acclimatise myself – the weather is wicked out here and to be snow, ice, frost and rain free is lovely. I also discovered why it is taking so long to get used to the weather;
Scotsman and the Cold
40 degrees:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Scotland sunbathe.
35 degrees:
Italian cars won't start.
People in Scotland drive with the windows down.
20 degrees:
Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
15 degrees:
Californians begin to evacuate the state.
People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.
0 degrees:
New York landlords turn the heat on.
People in Scotland have a last barby before it gets cold.
-10 degrees:
People in Miami are extinct.
People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
-20 degrees:
Californians all now live in Mexico.
People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
-80 degrees:
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.
Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets colder.
-100 degrees:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Scotland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps.
-173 degrees:
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
People in Scotland are angry 'cos they can't thaw their whisky kegs.
-297 degrees:
Microbial life starts to grind to a halt.
Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460 degrees:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Scotland start saying "A bit hill billy ... eh? "
-500 degrees:
Hell freezes over.
Scottish people support England in the World Cup…not!
I am also really enjoying the Ashes banter – very good fun and harmless, a bit like Rugby Union supporters really. Although I was insulted recently when an English gentlemen sent me the picture below, stating that it was a Scottish Advent Christmas.
Anyway quiet week update – its not that I don’t love you all, it’s just because I am off……its beer o’clock now.
posted by Oz Doy at 9:53 PM
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